The #1 Reason You Aren’t Reaching Your Goals
Willpower is a Muscle
Setting goals is the best method you can use in order to progress.
We need goals to be able to push ourselves to do difficult things that will help us live better lives.
But not many of us are able to stick to our goals. Even some of the most successful people fail to achieve their own goals - whether it’s flossing their teeth daily or sticking to an exercise routine.
So if everyone struggles with creating new habits, no matter how focused and motivated they are - what is holding us all back?
What is the #1 reason why people fail to stick to their goals?
If you said lack of willpower, you aren’t wrong. But it’s a little more complex than that.
You see - us being human, we have a limited amount of willpower to use per day. Similar to a muscle, our willpower requires rest and it can grow over time. Some days you have more willpower than others - depending on recovery, mood, etc… like a muscle.
I know it seems soft - many of us believe you just have to “do it.”
You are either weak or you’re strong.
But that kind of black and white thinking doesn’t help us. It doesn’t teach us anything.
For example, someone that runs 10 successful businesses can’t seem to eat healthy to save his life.
Running a business requires tremendous effort, and willpower to invest time and money into the business instead of more fun things.
Why can’t he just copy and paste that drive to eating healthy?
The truth for all of us is that we are human. And part of our human condition is that willpower is a muscle. We have a limited supply.
Getting more personal, if you want to get into fitness, and have made it a goal to workout 5x per week and eat healthy.
But you find that even though you make it to all of your workouts, you just can’t seem to curb your cravings and eat healthy all the time.
Why can you apply so much effort to your exercise, but can’t put down the Christmas cookies?
Hopefully understanding this concept will help you learn how to work with your mind & body to encourage long-lasting change.
The Research
To further understand how willpower works, let’s dive into the research.
In 1996 Roy Bauermeister developed an experiment on willpower that was intended to see if humans had a limited amount of willpower to use in a day.
To better visualize this concept - think of willpower like an energy bar in a video game - your energy goes down as you run, but can be restored through rest.
Similarly, this experiment was designed to show your willpower decreases the more you use it, and requires rest in order to restore your levels.
The study required individuals to eat food provided by the moderator, and then try to solve a puzzle which was impossible to solve.
Each participant was put in a room where there were both cookies on one plate, and a salad filled with radishes on another plate.
Depending on their group, the participant would either be directed to eat the cookies, or to eat the salad.
Then they would be given this impossible puzzle, and asked to solve it (they didn’t know it was impossible to solve).
The interesting metric here is how LONG the participants spent trying to solve the puzzle.
The people who were allowed to eat the cookie spent 60% more time trying to solve the puzzle than the group that was forced to eat the salad.
Some of them tried to solve the puzzle for 30+ minutes, and had to be stopped by the moderator.
Meanwhile, the people who ate the salad spent an average of 7 minutes trying to solve the puzzle. They showed more signs of frustration and annoyance at the task as well.
So what can we take away from this?
This is such an interesting concept, because so many of us view willpower as a choice.
However, this experiment explains why it is so hard to stick to goals.
Every new habit is quite difficult for our minds to enforce - it’s not what we want to do, so we must parent ourselves. Just like our energy level, this willpower wears down according to how much we use it.
Factors that will affect just how much willpower you use seem to be:
How many new habits you implement at once.
How enjoyable the new habits are.
How strict you are with adhering to those habits.
This is something we can work with.
How to Make Your Goals More Achievable.
One Thing At A Time.
Being human means you do not have the capability to do everything at once.
BUT, you can build on your goals over time.
If you focus on ONE thing for the next 1-12 months (whatever it takes) until it becomes a new habit. A part of your life.
Then you can choose the next goal to implement, and build on that.
Whereas if you try to do it all at once - Stick to the diet, do cardio every day, perform well at work, plan fun trips on the weekend....
Most likely you will fail at all of them.
List your goals out by importance. And then erase all of them except #1.
That’s your goal, save the rest for another time.
2. Give Yourself A Break.
I will use dieting as an example, because it’s what I personally struggle with the most.
I’m always super strict about my diet, and then I slip up in a big way, and it’s hard for me to forgive myself and get back on the train.
I think we need to accept that we are human, and we will have cravings, and we need to allow for cheat days or little treats to look forward to.
My favorite mindset when it comes to dieting is asking myself if I can eat something healthy. I let myself know in a gentle way that the more I can choose healthy items, the closer I will be to reaching my goals.
One treat, or one bad meal, won’t ruin my progress.
It will just take me a little longer to reach my goal weight.
So I suggest healthy options to myself, but if I really want to splurge, I let myself have it.
In this way, you don’t fight with yourself and create the internal conflicts that lead to giving up.
You can apply this concept to any goal. Just offer suggestions to yourself, and be willing to compromise.
3. Make It Fun.
This is the biggest game changer.
Most people think willpower is all about discipline, and basically whipping yourself into submission.
But we know this doesn’t work!
Rather, you choose to continue to do things that you enjoy. Because once you enjoy something, or even just don’t hate it as much, it doesn’t take as much willpower out of your basket.
So, how do you make something more fun?
Do it with a friend.
Treat yourself for doing it.
After studying for 2 hours, give yourself a treat.
Allow yourself to have a piece of chocolate if you followed your diet that day.
3. Mix in what you already enjoy.
Listen to your favorite podcasts while doing your daily walk.
Create an amazing playlist for your workout.
4. Find What Works for YOU
Find a workout that you actually enjoy. Try different ones until you find that for yourself.
Choose a diet you can stick to. Keto, animal based, mediterranean. Or just eat healthier foods!
5. Pregame
Before you workout, take preworkout so you enjoy the process more.
